10 Terrible Angry Birds Items
10 terrible Angry Birds items aren’t that difficult to find. You can’t walk into a department or grocery store without tripping over something that has Angry Birds on it. The popular franchise has been a huge money maker for Rovio Entertainment, raking in just over $100 million in revenue alone for 2011. Over 648 million Angry Birds apps have been downloaded, and the number continues to climb. Striking while the angry iron is hot, Rovio has licensed their brand on everything from t-shirts to keychains. But are these items worth buying? We thought it would be fun to look at 10 terrible Angry Birds items available for purchase.
Angry Birds Beverages
Feeling thirsty? Just went running for five miles and you’re all out of water and Gatorade? No problem. Just grab one of these Angry Birds beverages and replenish yourself with the exotic taste of “Paradise” or “Tropic.” Finnish company Olvi may have a hit on their hands if every drop of water on the planet dries up and this is all we’re left with.
Angry Birds Women’s T-shirts
Stuck on what to buy your kid for her birthday? Can’t decide on which iPad to get her? Why go for want she wants? Give her what she doesn’t need with these Angry Birds t-shirts that scream to her friends, “I have no fashion sense!” Now everyone will know that your daughter or niece is a trendsetter in the world of pop culture.
Angry Birds Fruit Snacks
Let’s see … should we eat an apple? Nope. Some grapes? Naw. Cherries? Too messy. Let’s snack on some delicious Angry Birds fruit snacks instead! Available in six sugar-coated flavors like strawberry and grape, these fruit snacks are probably about as healthy for your kid as a Big Mac. But hey, if your child enjoys them, why not let them wash that fruit-flavored goodness down with some Angry Birds beverages! After all, it’s your dentist bill.
Angry Birds Hat
Who wants to wear a hat sporting some dumb sports team? Show off your Angry Birds pride by wearing this spiffy looking cap that looks like an angry bird crapped on it as you were walking down the street. In white with sexy yellow, your friends will either be impressed by your gaming dedication or wonder why you’re wearing a hat with a broken egg on it.
Angry Birds Bedsheets
Slip into the world of slingshot dreams with these obnoxious looking Angry Birds bedsheets. Not only will your child wonder why you hate him, but he’ll discover that throwing these sheets out the window is a much better solution than the years of therapy that will follow when his friends come over and notice their buddy has the ugliest bed in the neighborhood. *Also available in pink.
Angry Birds Men’s T-shirt
Having trouble finding that perfect outfit for the clubs? Look no further than this enormously obnoxious t-shirt that has a giant image of an Angry Bird’s face on it. Not only will you stand out on the dance floor, but the ladies will groove with you all night, buy you drinks, and take you away to exotic locations where you live out the dreams of an international playboy. Oops, my mistake, those are the things that would actually never happen if you wore one of these t-shirts out in public.
Angry Birds School Kit
If you’re wondering why Junior keeps coming home from school with bruises everyday it’s because you’re shipping him off to his local education institution with some of the dorkiest school gear a kid could carry. Need a piece of paper? He’s got you covered with his Angry Birds notebook. Wrote down the wrong answer? No problem. Wipe out your mistake with one of these Angry Birds erasers. The kit even comes with an Angry Birds themed ruler, which unfortunately isn’t long enough to measure your child’s humiliation.
Angry Birds Boxer Shorts
If you own a pair of these and can’t figure out why you’re single, then there’s no hope for you, my friend. Cover your angry bird with these stylish boxer shorts that are guaranteed to net you plenty of sexy time with the ladies. Or plenty of lonely time in your mom’s basement. One of the two.
Angry Birds Shower Curtain
Everyone likes to have an attractive bathroom, and nothing is going to make yours stand out more than this amazing Angry Birds shower curtain. Imagine all of the conversation topics that will occur during house functions after your guests use the restroom? They’ll probably be so jealous of this sweet shower curtain that they’ll strip their clothes off and take a quick five minute rinse. Things are pretty good in the world if you’re belting out Phil Collins tunes in the shower next to the plastic, colorful world of Angry Birds. If only they made an Angry Birds toilet seat to match it.
Angry Birds Halloween Costume
Everyone has that one friend who tries to be wackier than everyone else during Halloween. He’s also the same guy at every Halloween party who drinks all the booze, stays too late, stains the carpet, eats all the food, unsuccessfully hits on every girl, tells the worst jokes and refuses to wear deodorant. If you see one of these costumes walking through the door, you’ll know it’s time to leave.